I do realize it has been some time. The blog has been untouched for some time, mostly because of the fact that I have had little to write about. Perhaps that isn't entirely true. I've had many things to write about, but some things are difficult to even put into words. Aside from that, I've been working on other writing projects.
However, there are some things that shouldn't go unsaid. I have found myself drawn back to writing for this blog. Especially in light of recent events that have really caused me to question people in general, and of course, love.
As usual, I find myself on the losing end of the great thing that we all call love. Failed attempts, betrayals, and the like can cause one's newfound hope to fade quickly. While I shouldn't go into detail, I once again find my hope fading. It seems like everyone else, girls especially, are all the same.
There have been several different things that have gotten to me lately. As I mentioned before, I won't go into extreme detail, as that would only cause problems. However, the first of these is difficult to explain. I've found someone whom others claim would be a perfect match for me. I believe I've mentioned it in previous posts. Anyways, from the little I know of her, she seems like a good person. The problem is, I feel absolutely neutral toward her. I know I should probably be falling for her, but my heart seems to be incredibly opposed to that.
I have some ideas about why, and they have to do with personality. I have discovered that I value a person's ability to be a bit spontaneous, perhaps more than I realized. It would keep things fresh and interesting. Perhaps that, and several other things are holding me back from discovering feelings for her. Either way, it crosses my mind all the time.
The second thing that has been getting me lately is the feeling of betrayal. It is the most recent development in a series of events that had first given me hope, then destroyed it. I won't go into any more detail than the fact that I now know, without a doubt, that there are people out there who can be quite dangerous. Despite the fact that I would never believe what other people said about her constantly, she proved it all right. Not to mention, lying to me about it in the process.
Hence, the feeling of betrayal. Alongside the feeling of desertion, betrayal is one of the worst feelings ever. I keep telling myself that I'm probably overreacting, but I can't shake the feeling that there is something more to what is going on. And while I'm fighting the loss of hope with all I've got, it continues to slip away as I continue to realize just how hopeless my situation actually is.
And, to make matters worse, another person that I used to have feelings for has re-entered my life, but under the strangest of circumstances. She randomly contacted me again, after several months of total silence between us. Implying she had something to talk to me about, she baited me into telling her a lot more that I should have. Even after that, she still won't tell me what she initially wanted to say. Even though I already know what she is hiding, and understand why she is hiding it, I can't help but feel played yet again. In response, I plan to push whatever is left of her out of my heart. Something I know how to do only too well. And this time, I have no doubt it is the best thing to do.
Anyways, enough of my rambling randomly about my problems. The biggest part of a problem is the solution. I've been contemplating doing something I had previously considered off-limits. Not because I believed it was bad, but because I wasn't sure I trusted it. I won't reveal what it is until I've come closer to a decision on whether or not it would really be a valuable tool in my search for someone who is genuinely different.
Either way, I need to find some source of hope soon. In all of my searching for someone different, I have only ever found one person with a heart like that. And even then, that situation is more complicated than any of the others I've mentioned. Though perhaps, she is more of a hope to me than anyone else.
With all of this, I've found a lot of solace in my hobbies, such as writing this blog. I will not allow myself to stop making myself a better person just because some others just don't care.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
The Grass is Always Greener...
It seems that lately, a lot of the people whom I had known through high school and elsewhere, have begun leaving for faraway places like Florida and California. Of course, any person's first response is something to the degree of: "Who wouldn't want to move there?"
Anyways, I found it odd that I was a bit hurt by it. Some of these people I have known pretty well, so the disappointment in seeing them leave felt natural. But others, whom I didn't know very well, still invoked a similar response. It made me wonder... why do I feel like that?
I knew that I would encounter feelings like this after I left high school, but not about people I barely knew. I suppose it stems from that fact that I feel sorry to see them leave their home here. The other part seems to come from what might be jealousy at them for having an adventure while I'm still stuck at home.
Before I go any further with this, I should use a disclaimer here to inform everyone reading this that: I'm not missing that fact that everyone need to find a place in this world where they truly belong. I won't ever forget that, even though I might have already found mine, and it happened that it wasn't far from home.
With that said, the real story here can be found in the locations. I mean, c'mon... Florida? California? Obviously these places are being targeted because they are what I like to refer to as "greener" places. Everyone wants to live in either Florida or California at some point in their lives. There's a lot to love. The climate. The people. The lifestyle in general. So why shouldn't someone go there if they have the opportunity?
Now, I'm not necessarily saying that they shouldn't go. I'm just saying that the value of home and family shouldn't be undervalued. EVER. Everyone has ties to the place they are born and raised. No matter how much they dislike aspects of their lives prior to leaving, there is always something that they will dislike about where they go, and something about where they left that will call to them at some point. I'm not saying people shouldn't move to new places and explore new opportunities. I'm just saying that it should be a choice that is carefully thought through before being made. It shouldn't be something that is done on a whim, like what I have seen so many times.
There are plenty of reasons for this. I already mentioned that to most decent people, there are certain ties to the place where they grew up that exist, helping to keep them from leaving. These will obviously pull back at some point, and that is never good for a person's overall happiness.
There is also the issue of lifestyles. Everyone wants to engage in a new lifestyle at some point. The problem with moving to a new place far away that boasts the type of "party lifestyle" that Florida and California do, is that it grows old over time. If a person was meant for a lifestyle like that, they would have entered that lifestyle a long time ago. Not to mention, that fact that these lifestyles are often overblown. Both states that I mentioned have repuatations for being laid-back and easy when it comes to lifestyles. Add that to the party mentality that so many there have, and you have what many people see as the perfect lifestyle. But it is all way overblown.
The main problem is money. Much of what these lifestyles comprise of costs money. And that money still has to be earned somehow. That means the laid-back lifestyle... suddenly doesn't work so well. Also, for those who have gone away to these places to attend college, student debt is often a major factor. I'm not saying that money is everything; just that these lifestyles often cost a lot of money.
When it comes the the climate, there are often setbacks as well. Sure, Florida is nice because it is warm. But have these people ever endured a summer there? I've heard temperatures can average in the mid-90's, and will often go up to 105-110. Thats just what I've heard anyway. And you can't forget about the constant hurricanes. And California? While it has a much more mild climate, I don't think that does much the help the earthquake threat. I'm not going to say that these places don't have some wonderful advantages to their climates. What I am saying, is that one must also consider the disadvantages that the climates and locations have as well. These are things that are often overlooked.
In light of all that, I should also point out that, there are some people who really end up liking it where they go to. One of my friends that did this exact thing really seems to have found his place and really enjoys life there, even while working.
In the end, there are good things, and there are bad things about just about every place. Hopefully, some people start to realize that before they leave a place that does have everything they are looking for.
Anyways, I found it odd that I was a bit hurt by it. Some of these people I have known pretty well, so the disappointment in seeing them leave felt natural. But others, whom I didn't know very well, still invoked a similar response. It made me wonder... why do I feel like that?
I knew that I would encounter feelings like this after I left high school, but not about people I barely knew. I suppose it stems from that fact that I feel sorry to see them leave their home here. The other part seems to come from what might be jealousy at them for having an adventure while I'm still stuck at home.
Before I go any further with this, I should use a disclaimer here to inform everyone reading this that: I'm not missing that fact that everyone need to find a place in this world where they truly belong. I won't ever forget that, even though I might have already found mine, and it happened that it wasn't far from home.
With that said, the real story here can be found in the locations. I mean, c'mon... Florida? California? Obviously these places are being targeted because they are what I like to refer to as "greener" places. Everyone wants to live in either Florida or California at some point in their lives. There's a lot to love. The climate. The people. The lifestyle in general. So why shouldn't someone go there if they have the opportunity?
Now, I'm not necessarily saying that they shouldn't go. I'm just saying that the value of home and family shouldn't be undervalued. EVER. Everyone has ties to the place they are born and raised. No matter how much they dislike aspects of their lives prior to leaving, there is always something that they will dislike about where they go, and something about where they left that will call to them at some point. I'm not saying people shouldn't move to new places and explore new opportunities. I'm just saying that it should be a choice that is carefully thought through before being made. It shouldn't be something that is done on a whim, like what I have seen so many times.
There are plenty of reasons for this. I already mentioned that to most decent people, there are certain ties to the place where they grew up that exist, helping to keep them from leaving. These will obviously pull back at some point, and that is never good for a person's overall happiness.
There is also the issue of lifestyles. Everyone wants to engage in a new lifestyle at some point. The problem with moving to a new place far away that boasts the type of "party lifestyle" that Florida and California do, is that it grows old over time. If a person was meant for a lifestyle like that, they would have entered that lifestyle a long time ago. Not to mention, that fact that these lifestyles are often overblown. Both states that I mentioned have repuatations for being laid-back and easy when it comes to lifestyles. Add that to the party mentality that so many there have, and you have what many people see as the perfect lifestyle. But it is all way overblown.
The main problem is money. Much of what these lifestyles comprise of costs money. And that money still has to be earned somehow. That means the laid-back lifestyle... suddenly doesn't work so well. Also, for those who have gone away to these places to attend college, student debt is often a major factor. I'm not saying that money is everything; just that these lifestyles often cost a lot of money.
When it comes the the climate, there are often setbacks as well. Sure, Florida is nice because it is warm. But have these people ever endured a summer there? I've heard temperatures can average in the mid-90's, and will often go up to 105-110. Thats just what I've heard anyway. And you can't forget about the constant hurricanes. And California? While it has a much more mild climate, I don't think that does much the help the earthquake threat. I'm not going to say that these places don't have some wonderful advantages to their climates. What I am saying, is that one must also consider the disadvantages that the climates and locations have as well. These are things that are often overlooked.
In light of all that, I should also point out that, there are some people who really end up liking it where they go to. One of my friends that did this exact thing really seems to have found his place and really enjoys life there, even while working.
In the end, there are good things, and there are bad things about just about every place. Hopefully, some people start to realize that before they leave a place that does have everything they are looking for.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Famous Flings & Failures
No, I'm not going to jump on the celebrity gossip train and talk about all the famous people in relationships right now. Quite frankly, none of it interests me.
In case you can't tell, I'm not one to heap a whole lot of praise on celebrities. In fact, I usually do just the opposite. I am not fond of famous people. And not because of jealousy. I would be perfectly fine with a celebrity out there who had some kind of common sense. Unfortunately, those types are extremely difficult to find.
Even for a person who typically avoids celebrity gossip and Ryan Seacrest, since his only purpose in life is to spread such gossip, I get bombarded by the stuff like everyone else. It is in the regular news headlines, and all over cyberspace. I apologize for adding to this crap, but trust me, I'm gonna make something out of it.
The only reason I'm writing about celebrities at all is to show people exactly why all of this drama unfolds in the world of the rich and famous. Much of it is due to the fact that people tend to change for the worse when they become famous. If you don't believe me, just read the biographies of a few celebs on Wikipedia and see what turns up. Fame destroys people. Plain and simple. There are a few rare exceptions (ex: Tim Tebow), but for the most part, fame is one of the greatest enemies a person can face. Fame is power. And power corrupts. Not to mention that it inflates a person's own self-image to the point where it is almost impossible for them to believe they aren't all-important.
Yes, I have a negative opinion of fame. And yet I have that secret urge, like many others, to become famous. Just what I would do with that fame is uncertain. I would hope that I could follow my heart as I always have and beat one of the greatest temptations in the history of mankind. But hey, I'll cover that more when I get there....
I'm sure everyone reading this is wondering... What does this have to do with relationships?
Well, I'm sure we've all heard the latest news in celebrity relationships. Katy Perry and Russel Brand are toast. Funny thing is, I saw that one coming from over a year away. Yup. I knew as soon as they got together that they would end. I'm not gonna sit here and call myself a psychic or anything, so don't think I'm trying to credit myself with anything here. Just about anyone can step up and say that they successfully predicted the downfall of a famous relationship.
The fact of the matter is, celebrities have the odds stacked against them when it comes to relationships. I'll give them that much. They basically have two options:
1: Go after someone famous.
2: Test the waters with unfamous people.
The first of which is almost always a terrible option. Obviously, this one depends on the people involved, but just about all celebrities tend to have pretty big egos. Putting together two people who both think they are ultimately important is never a good idea. But besides that, celebrities are constantly off doing things to make themselves more famous. That doesn't exactly amount to a whole lot of time being spent together. And aside from that, most celebrities also have a huge fan pool to chose from if they decide to go after someone else. And when you're famous, I'm sure the temptation is pretty high.
But unfamous people are hardly a good choice either. When you're famous, I'm sure it is really difficult to tell if anyone who lines up to date you is actually genuine, or whether they just want to be with you because well... you're famous. And besides that, a person unused to media attention might have a bit of a problem adjusting. So it isn't usually fair to either person.
The problem is, most celebrities choose the first option. And even more to that point, there is both a huge amount of diversity there, and at the same time, barely any at all. Sure, most celebs are hardly ordinary (picture Lady GaGa), but perhaps this is the problem. After all, extreme personalities usually never mesh well.
But an even bigger problem originates from the fact that many celebrities seem to enter relationships simply for publicity. These are the types of see-through relationships that really give love a bad name. Anyone remember Kim Kardashian? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I don't think this one needs any further explanation.
The biggest thing I'm trying to prove here is that, no matter what the media says, celebrity relationships are hardly realistic in any way. And yet, they are some of the most marketed news in the world.
Back to Katy Perry, she is one of the prime examples of a celebrity who is dead to what love truly is. My evidence of this comes from a concert she did just before entering her relationship with that brute Brand. She did a concert for her former high school. And during the performance, she called out a particular guy she supposedly had a crush on during her time in school. She essentially told him: "You sure made the right choice by not choosing me." What's the problem with a little old-school celeb revenge on the jerk that ignored her? Well, for starters, she obviously didn't do her research. The guy fell in love with and married his high-school sweetheart. I can't even bring myself to imagine why someone would choose fame over something as magical as an ending like that. And aside from that, just the fact that Katy seems to think that her fame suddenly makes her irresistible to guys like that is just absurd. I know I would choose the happy ending over fame in a heartbeat.
C'mon. A guy like Brand? That's her idea of a good relationship? Now, I don't know Russel personally, so I probably shouldn't pass judgement. But you get the idea.
I already went over much of this in a previous post, in which I slammed the whole "Journey debacle," in which one of Journey's band members engaged in an elaborate affair that left me sick every time I hear their song "Faithfully." This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about in celebrity relationships. And it is the kind of thing I'm sick of.
Now, earlier, I painted a picture of celebrities being stuck in a near-impossible situation when it comes to who to love. However, there is another way. As I've been preaching all along, perhaps what you're looking for is right beside you. Most people who are famous, weren't always that way. And celebrities, unless they REALLY let fame go to their heads, typically have a close group of friends that they still maintain contact with. These are the people you can trust.
In case you can't tell, I'm not one to heap a whole lot of praise on celebrities. In fact, I usually do just the opposite. I am not fond of famous people. And not because of jealousy. I would be perfectly fine with a celebrity out there who had some kind of common sense. Unfortunately, those types are extremely difficult to find.
Even for a person who typically avoids celebrity gossip and Ryan Seacrest, since his only purpose in life is to spread such gossip, I get bombarded by the stuff like everyone else. It is in the regular news headlines, and all over cyberspace. I apologize for adding to this crap, but trust me, I'm gonna make something out of it.
The only reason I'm writing about celebrities at all is to show people exactly why all of this drama unfolds in the world of the rich and famous. Much of it is due to the fact that people tend to change for the worse when they become famous. If you don't believe me, just read the biographies of a few celebs on Wikipedia and see what turns up. Fame destroys people. Plain and simple. There are a few rare exceptions (ex: Tim Tebow), but for the most part, fame is one of the greatest enemies a person can face. Fame is power. And power corrupts. Not to mention that it inflates a person's own self-image to the point where it is almost impossible for them to believe they aren't all-important.
Yes, I have a negative opinion of fame. And yet I have that secret urge, like many others, to become famous. Just what I would do with that fame is uncertain. I would hope that I could follow my heart as I always have and beat one of the greatest temptations in the history of mankind. But hey, I'll cover that more when I get there....
I'm sure everyone reading this is wondering... What does this have to do with relationships?
Well, I'm sure we've all heard the latest news in celebrity relationships. Katy Perry and Russel Brand are toast. Funny thing is, I saw that one coming from over a year away. Yup. I knew as soon as they got together that they would end. I'm not gonna sit here and call myself a psychic or anything, so don't think I'm trying to credit myself with anything here. Just about anyone can step up and say that they successfully predicted the downfall of a famous relationship.
The fact of the matter is, celebrities have the odds stacked against them when it comes to relationships. I'll give them that much. They basically have two options:
1: Go after someone famous.
2: Test the waters with unfamous people.
The first of which is almost always a terrible option. Obviously, this one depends on the people involved, but just about all celebrities tend to have pretty big egos. Putting together two people who both think they are ultimately important is never a good idea. But besides that, celebrities are constantly off doing things to make themselves more famous. That doesn't exactly amount to a whole lot of time being spent together. And aside from that, most celebrities also have a huge fan pool to chose from if they decide to go after someone else. And when you're famous, I'm sure the temptation is pretty high.
But unfamous people are hardly a good choice either. When you're famous, I'm sure it is really difficult to tell if anyone who lines up to date you is actually genuine, or whether they just want to be with you because well... you're famous. And besides that, a person unused to media attention might have a bit of a problem adjusting. So it isn't usually fair to either person.
The problem is, most celebrities choose the first option. And even more to that point, there is both a huge amount of diversity there, and at the same time, barely any at all. Sure, most celebs are hardly ordinary (picture Lady GaGa), but perhaps this is the problem. After all, extreme personalities usually never mesh well.
But an even bigger problem originates from the fact that many celebrities seem to enter relationships simply for publicity. These are the types of see-through relationships that really give love a bad name. Anyone remember Kim Kardashian? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I don't think this one needs any further explanation.
The biggest thing I'm trying to prove here is that, no matter what the media says, celebrity relationships are hardly realistic in any way. And yet, they are some of the most marketed news in the world.
Back to Katy Perry, she is one of the prime examples of a celebrity who is dead to what love truly is. My evidence of this comes from a concert she did just before entering her relationship with that brute Brand. She did a concert for her former high school. And during the performance, she called out a particular guy she supposedly had a crush on during her time in school. She essentially told him: "You sure made the right choice by not choosing me." What's the problem with a little old-school celeb revenge on the jerk that ignored her? Well, for starters, she obviously didn't do her research. The guy fell in love with and married his high-school sweetheart. I can't even bring myself to imagine why someone would choose fame over something as magical as an ending like that. And aside from that, just the fact that Katy seems to think that her fame suddenly makes her irresistible to guys like that is just absurd. I know I would choose the happy ending over fame in a heartbeat.
C'mon. A guy like Brand? That's her idea of a good relationship? Now, I don't know Russel personally, so I probably shouldn't pass judgement. But you get the idea.
I already went over much of this in a previous post, in which I slammed the whole "Journey debacle," in which one of Journey's band members engaged in an elaborate affair that left me sick every time I hear their song "Faithfully." This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about in celebrity relationships. And it is the kind of thing I'm sick of.
Now, earlier, I painted a picture of celebrities being stuck in a near-impossible situation when it comes to who to love. However, there is another way. As I've been preaching all along, perhaps what you're looking for is right beside you. Most people who are famous, weren't always that way. And celebrities, unless they REALLY let fame go to their heads, typically have a close group of friends that they still maintain contact with. These are the people you can trust.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
New Years Resolutions
Yes, it has been several days since New Years. Has everyone kept their resolutions so far?
Anyways, I made a few resolutions myself. I'm not going to share all of them, but there was one in particular that I was tested on right away.
Before I get into any of that, it is important for me to clear my beliefs when it comes to New Years resolutions. I definitely believe in making resolutions, though they shouldn't be forced. I don't write my resolutions out, and I don't plan them months ahead of time. I just think about things I could do better on over the next year. So, needless to say, I'm not exactly the most serious person when it comes to resolutions. But I'm not the type of person that thinks I have nothing that can be improved either.
With that said, one of my resolutions really stood out above the rest. I told myself that I needed to be much more straightforward with people.
That does seem a bit general, but anyone who talks with me on a consistent basis probably knows more specifically what I'm referring to. When a conversation turns toward secrets, or perhaps, something that has a risk of being offensive to one or both people involved, I have a tendency to become quite cryptic. This means that I begin to give very vague and coded answers to questions that people often want a direct answer to. Now, I'm not going to eliminate doing this entirely. I actually enjoy my ability to make people think for themselves. However, last year gave me a few opportunities to see places where it might have been better to give a more direct answer, and then back it up the way I do here on the blog.
Little did I expect this particular resolution to be tested so early.
In reality, the situation set itself up several days before I even made the resolution. I had sent a bulk text message to everyone on my contacts list (which actually created several awkward situations) wishing them a merry Christmas. A girl whom I have not talked to for some time responded. She is one of the girls whom I have mentioned in several previous posts, all from a while ago. She appeared in my blog previously as one of the girls who was helping me to lose faith in relationships and love in general. I had previously coached her in finding a true relationship, as she had found herself abandoned by her boyfriend, who had lost interest in her. From what I could gather about him, he was a jerk, and I simply gave her instructions on how to look deeper. But as mentioned before, all the advice I gave her seemed to fly right over her head, and she ended up falling for another guy based on nothing but a Facebook photo.
If you've read some of my previous posts, you probably know now which girl I'm referring to. Ironic as it may sound, those events were actually the inspiration for this resolution. I failed to give her my true opinion about how love based on a photo is just a quick path to heartbreak. Instead, I made my answers cryptic and it turns out, she never figured them out. By the time I told her about her mistake straight-up, she had already gone and made the mistake of pursuing this "love by photo."
After that, I had the idea for this resolution. It seems only fitting that she should be the one to put it to the test.
Anyways, I haven't talked to her in a long time. She went away to school and, as far as I can tell, went and got her old boyfriend back (the one who "got bored with her"), and is now living life exactly the way she told me she didn't want to. In light of all that, I really didn't want to talk to her anyways, as she seems to want to make all the wrong decisions, despite what I've tried to tell her.
This sudden text message changed all that. Suddenly, she was talking to me again. And like before, she was asking for advice on all of her problems. Just a day after New Years, I asked her if she was doing any better.
The tale that followed that question is one that I should probably keep to myself, as I'm not one to spill other people's secrets on the Internet. However, it involved her hanging out with some of her boyfriends pals, and them doing some not-so-acceptable things to her.
She continued on about how her boyfriend wasn't doing much about it, and how he didn't seem to care about it as much as she thought he should. Anyone else see what's coming?
Remembering my resolution, I told her exactly how I saw things. And I'll sum things up, because I did go on a bit of a rant. But what I said basically amounted to:
"With a guy like that, you're gonna get that kind of stuff. He's a bad person. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY you love him? Sure, love does not always need a reason but... you're missing a whole half of the equation. That is, the part where he loves you back. There are people out there that would be willing to love you with every ounce of their being. And you're missing that. Sure, they are few and far between, but they're worth searching for. And trust me, you'll never find that kind of deeper love with him."
I never received a response.
Either way, I was proud of my ability, instead of getting all cryptic like I usually do, to stand up and tell it like it is. Despite the fact that she never answered me, and we haven't spoken since, I know I made her really think. And that is what mattered in the end.
So for those of you who know me, be cautious about what questions you ask me, unless you want the straight-up truth.
Anyways, I made a few resolutions myself. I'm not going to share all of them, but there was one in particular that I was tested on right away.
Before I get into any of that, it is important for me to clear my beliefs when it comes to New Years resolutions. I definitely believe in making resolutions, though they shouldn't be forced. I don't write my resolutions out, and I don't plan them months ahead of time. I just think about things I could do better on over the next year. So, needless to say, I'm not exactly the most serious person when it comes to resolutions. But I'm not the type of person that thinks I have nothing that can be improved either.
With that said, one of my resolutions really stood out above the rest. I told myself that I needed to be much more straightforward with people.
That does seem a bit general, but anyone who talks with me on a consistent basis probably knows more specifically what I'm referring to. When a conversation turns toward secrets, or perhaps, something that has a risk of being offensive to one or both people involved, I have a tendency to become quite cryptic. This means that I begin to give very vague and coded answers to questions that people often want a direct answer to. Now, I'm not going to eliminate doing this entirely. I actually enjoy my ability to make people think for themselves. However, last year gave me a few opportunities to see places where it might have been better to give a more direct answer, and then back it up the way I do here on the blog.
Little did I expect this particular resolution to be tested so early.
In reality, the situation set itself up several days before I even made the resolution. I had sent a bulk text message to everyone on my contacts list (which actually created several awkward situations) wishing them a merry Christmas. A girl whom I have not talked to for some time responded. She is one of the girls whom I have mentioned in several previous posts, all from a while ago. She appeared in my blog previously as one of the girls who was helping me to lose faith in relationships and love in general. I had previously coached her in finding a true relationship, as she had found herself abandoned by her boyfriend, who had lost interest in her. From what I could gather about him, he was a jerk, and I simply gave her instructions on how to look deeper. But as mentioned before, all the advice I gave her seemed to fly right over her head, and she ended up falling for another guy based on nothing but a Facebook photo.
If you've read some of my previous posts, you probably know now which girl I'm referring to. Ironic as it may sound, those events were actually the inspiration for this resolution. I failed to give her my true opinion about how love based on a photo is just a quick path to heartbreak. Instead, I made my answers cryptic and it turns out, she never figured them out. By the time I told her about her mistake straight-up, she had already gone and made the mistake of pursuing this "love by photo."
After that, I had the idea for this resolution. It seems only fitting that she should be the one to put it to the test.
Anyways, I haven't talked to her in a long time. She went away to school and, as far as I can tell, went and got her old boyfriend back (the one who "got bored with her"), and is now living life exactly the way she told me she didn't want to. In light of all that, I really didn't want to talk to her anyways, as she seems to want to make all the wrong decisions, despite what I've tried to tell her.
This sudden text message changed all that. Suddenly, she was talking to me again. And like before, she was asking for advice on all of her problems. Just a day after New Years, I asked her if she was doing any better.
The tale that followed that question is one that I should probably keep to myself, as I'm not one to spill other people's secrets on the Internet. However, it involved her hanging out with some of her boyfriends pals, and them doing some not-so-acceptable things to her.
She continued on about how her boyfriend wasn't doing much about it, and how he didn't seem to care about it as much as she thought he should. Anyone else see what's coming?
Remembering my resolution, I told her exactly how I saw things. And I'll sum things up, because I did go on a bit of a rant. But what I said basically amounted to:
"With a guy like that, you're gonna get that kind of stuff. He's a bad person. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY you love him? Sure, love does not always need a reason but... you're missing a whole half of the equation. That is, the part where he loves you back. There are people out there that would be willing to love you with every ounce of their being. And you're missing that. Sure, they are few and far between, but they're worth searching for. And trust me, you'll never find that kind of deeper love with him."
I never received a response.
Either way, I was proud of my ability, instead of getting all cryptic like I usually do, to stand up and tell it like it is. Despite the fact that she never answered me, and we haven't spoken since, I know I made her really think. And that is what mattered in the end.
So for those of you who know me, be cautious about what questions you ask me, unless you want the straight-up truth.
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