I suppose now is as good a time as any to make this blog even more person. Seeing as I haven't had the time or motivation to write for a while, I suppose now is a good time to start again.
I have been in a bit of a dilemma for over a month now. The same question continues to haunt me.
.......Should I give up on love and attempt to prevent future pain?
This question comes on the heels of several recent realizations I have made. They might seem like a bunch of bogus at first glance, but after thinking about them for a while, I have realized that I have yet to see something to prove me wrong. Such realizations can be dangerous, but they can also be true. I'm still deciding whether or not to believe my own.
So, realization #1: All Girls Are The Same.
Ok, it seems like a bunch of nonsense right? I'm sure if anyone actually knew who I was, I would receive a lot of heck for saying so. But you know... I haven't seen anything to prove me wrong.
The reason behind this belief is the cycle that I see all the time. A girl talks about relationship problems. She says that she wants to finally be able to find somebody who actually cares about her and will love her on that deeper level. She fails to see that what she's looking for might not be that far away at all. And ultimately, she ends up falling for yet another jerk, and the cycle is repeated.
Sound like a familiar story? I have seen it many times. Often times, I observe from a distance. Other times, I have been directly involved, giving advice, and maybe even dropping a few hints that I might be that type of person she's looking for. Even other times, barely anything is communicated at all. I can just tell by the girl's demeanor. But it always ends the same way. Either she falls for another jerk... or abandons the concept of love entirely. The latter of which, I am strongly considering.
So, that brings us to realization #2: Maybe I'll Never Find What I'm Looking for.
Seems like a hard thing to come to terms with. Though, I never really thought that my belief in the power of love, and the power of the heart could fail... I have to admit, it has been quite shaken as of late.
A lot of it came from my recent experience with a slightly rekindled flame. A girl I had known for a while, that I have admitted I liked, seemed to come back into my life out of nowhere. I was intrigued, but kept a lock on my heart, knowing it was bound to cause trouble if I began to allow those feelings to resurface. In the end, I was able to keep them from resurfacing. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't. She ended up being someone completely different than I thought she was. And not in a good way.
And so, this experience only adds to the list of failures that continues to taint the wonderful view of love that I once had.
Besides that, I had a thought come up in my head the other day.... one that sent waves of sorrow through me. Just a simple thought about having someone there to grow up with, someone who would love and cherish you through all of life's challenges. And while there are plenty of challenges left... I realized that I have already done most of my growing up. At least, in society's terms. And the most chilling thought... I had nobody that close to my heart to share it with.
And finally, realization #3: Giving Up Could Be An Option.
The keyword here is COULD. I haven't decided what the heck I'm going to do. All I know is that the path I'm following is leading me nowhere. And I'm certainly not going to change who I am. So, what options does that leave me? Either I can continue on the path I have been following... Or I can follow the lonely, yet safe path offered by the love-less route.
And my current realization, #4: I'll Have To Think About It Some More.
Yeah, I'm not going to jump to any conclusions. It is probably a safe idea to keep thinking about it. And even then... is it really possible to give up on love? I suppose only time will tell.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine's Day / Singles Awareness Day
So we’ve made it to Valentine’s Day huh….
Sorry about the length between posts, I have been working on a concept for a new story I’m writing. Anyways, I figured I would write a special article for Valentine’s Day.
In my eyes, there are two different views on this particular holiday. One side views it as a perfect day, during which you treat the one you love like royalty, or get so treated. The other side views it a just another Monday, only this time, couples everywhere are rubbing their “togetherness” in your face. Bet you can’t guess which group I’m a member of….
Anyways, I’m going to take a fresh look at this odd holiday from both sides.
To anyone in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is primarily a day to express love for your significant other. Despite my shortcomings, I too know what it feels like to be in love. In fact, I realized I was in love only days before Valentine’s Day. So, to those of you who doubt this day has a certain magic to it, please reconsider. It DOES have an interesting magic that seems to surround it. However, unlike most, I have yet to feel this same magic from the perspective of one participating in the festivities.
Unfortunately, like many of today’s holidays, Valentine’s Day is becoming way too commercialized. Ads float all over the place, reminding guys that there is only so much time to buy gifts and make reservations. “Our store has your perfect jewelry gift!” or “Don’t wait much longer to order flowers!” and my favorite: “Want your girl to feel like a princess?” Ever heard these before? Of course you have. That only proves my point.
And it also brings up another. What are all these ads focused on? They all are aimed at guys. So what’s the big deal?
I only have one question. Since when did Valentine’s Day turn into “Make the Girl feel like royalty day?” Now, to those of you sticking your noses up at this comment, please let me finish. I understand and completely agree with the fact that guys should buy gifts on Valentine’s Day. I have no argument here. But since when is that all that should be done?
Why can’t the girl do something for the guy? Why must this be a one-way holiday? Now, I’m not trying to say that it should be the girl’s job to buy gifts, make reservations, finalize plans, etc. But I am asking the question: Why can’t the girl do something?
Once again, I’m all down with the “gentlemanly act.” I wouldn’t mind doing it myself. But why must it be a single-gender holiday? To me, this is part of what comes along with the over-commercialization of holidays I mentioned earlier. It has changed from a day of love into a day of servitude. What happened to the simpler days, when Valentine’s Day was about mutual love, not just the male’s love?
Just this morning, I was listening to one of these morning radio shows, and they mentioned a survey that states that many men actually fear Valentine’s Day. The unfortunate part is that I can understand why they are afraid. There is so much that could be messed up. In fact, just a simple trip to Yahoo! this morning turned up a news article titled “Don’t Mess Up Valentine’s Day!” Why should there be such pressure to do EXACTLY the right things on Valentine’s Day?
Look people, I’m not trying to start a revolution here. I’m just pointing out the fact that this day used to be about the love between two people. Not just about a guy having to do all this stuff to prove his love. I’m not saying that he shouldn’t. I’m just encouraging the ladies to take part too. And don’t make such a big deal out of it. So what if his gift seems a little inappropriate for your particular relationship “stage?” Be happy with what you have and don’t make mountains out of molehills. The fact of the matter is, a gift is a gift.
Ok, so with the bad aspects out of the way, we can move on to the good. What isn’t good about a holiday dedicated to love? Not much. Especially considering what kind of state love is in these days. Most relationships don’t last over a year. More marriages are failing now than ever before. People are always being cheated on and lied to.
Thankfully, we have a day out of the year to sit down and reflect on what love truly is. While I won’t delve too deeply into this particular topic today, it is important that we have a time to do this.
Having a day for couples to spend together can’t be a bad thing. If your relationship is truly strong, the gifts and cards won’t mean nearly as much as the time you get to spend together. THAT is the true gift one can give on Valentine’s Day.
And sure, I did a lot more complaining about the couples’ side of Valentine’s Day, but the good things I added had ten times the value that the bad did.
So, what about those of us who don’t have a significant other with which to share Valentine’s Day?
I can tell you: you aren’t alone. Those of us without someone to share it with will sit around, silently loathing the continuous exchange of “I love you’s.”
We tend to refer to this particular day as “Singles Awareness Day.” And with good reason. To those who are single, Valenti- I mean, Singles Awareness Day does just that. It makes us more aware of our singleness. Plain and simple.
Now, I’m not going to write a huge sob-story, even though I probably could… However, I should say that many of us who are single probably have a sad story to tell. I’m sorry to say, but I don’t have a whole lot of advice to offer on that part. All I can say is that you shouldn’t lose hope. Eventually, someone will see you for who you are. Just focus on being aware, since you never know when or where you will find this person. Don’t count anyone out.
The feelings of being alone on a day like today are quite hurtful. I can’t help but look back to the past, remembering love that once was. But I can only hope for the future, building excitement for next year, when I might actually have someone to share this day with.
Don’t Ever Give Up Hope!
Sorry about the length between posts, I have been working on a concept for a new story I’m writing. Anyways, I figured I would write a special article for Valentine’s Day.
In my eyes, there are two different views on this particular holiday. One side views it as a perfect day, during which you treat the one you love like royalty, or get so treated. The other side views it a just another Monday, only this time, couples everywhere are rubbing their “togetherness” in your face. Bet you can’t guess which group I’m a member of….
Anyways, I’m going to take a fresh look at this odd holiday from both sides.
To anyone in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is primarily a day to express love for your significant other. Despite my shortcomings, I too know what it feels like to be in love. In fact, I realized I was in love only days before Valentine’s Day. So, to those of you who doubt this day has a certain magic to it, please reconsider. It DOES have an interesting magic that seems to surround it. However, unlike most, I have yet to feel this same magic from the perspective of one participating in the festivities.
Unfortunately, like many of today’s holidays, Valentine’s Day is becoming way too commercialized. Ads float all over the place, reminding guys that there is only so much time to buy gifts and make reservations. “Our store has your perfect jewelry gift!” or “Don’t wait much longer to order flowers!” and my favorite: “Want your girl to feel like a princess?” Ever heard these before? Of course you have. That only proves my point.
And it also brings up another. What are all these ads focused on? They all are aimed at guys. So what’s the big deal?
I only have one question. Since when did Valentine’s Day turn into “Make the Girl feel like royalty day?” Now, to those of you sticking your noses up at this comment, please let me finish. I understand and completely agree with the fact that guys should buy gifts on Valentine’s Day. I have no argument here. But since when is that all that should be done?
Why can’t the girl do something for the guy? Why must this be a one-way holiday? Now, I’m not trying to say that it should be the girl’s job to buy gifts, make reservations, finalize plans, etc. But I am asking the question: Why can’t the girl do something?
Once again, I’m all down with the “gentlemanly act.” I wouldn’t mind doing it myself. But why must it be a single-gender holiday? To me, this is part of what comes along with the over-commercialization of holidays I mentioned earlier. It has changed from a day of love into a day of servitude. What happened to the simpler days, when Valentine’s Day was about mutual love, not just the male’s love?
Just this morning, I was listening to one of these morning radio shows, and they mentioned a survey that states that many men actually fear Valentine’s Day. The unfortunate part is that I can understand why they are afraid. There is so much that could be messed up. In fact, just a simple trip to Yahoo! this morning turned up a news article titled “Don’t Mess Up Valentine’s Day!” Why should there be such pressure to do EXACTLY the right things on Valentine’s Day?
Look people, I’m not trying to start a revolution here. I’m just pointing out the fact that this day used to be about the love between two people. Not just about a guy having to do all this stuff to prove his love. I’m not saying that he shouldn’t. I’m just encouraging the ladies to take part too. And don’t make such a big deal out of it. So what if his gift seems a little inappropriate for your particular relationship “stage?” Be happy with what you have and don’t make mountains out of molehills. The fact of the matter is, a gift is a gift.
Ok, so with the bad aspects out of the way, we can move on to the good. What isn’t good about a holiday dedicated to love? Not much. Especially considering what kind of state love is in these days. Most relationships don’t last over a year. More marriages are failing now than ever before. People are always being cheated on and lied to.
Thankfully, we have a day out of the year to sit down and reflect on what love truly is. While I won’t delve too deeply into this particular topic today, it is important that we have a time to do this.
Having a day for couples to spend together can’t be a bad thing. If your relationship is truly strong, the gifts and cards won’t mean nearly as much as the time you get to spend together. THAT is the true gift one can give on Valentine’s Day.
And sure, I did a lot more complaining about the couples’ side of Valentine’s Day, but the good things I added had ten times the value that the bad did.
So, what about those of us who don’t have a significant other with which to share Valentine’s Day?
I can tell you: you aren’t alone. Those of us without someone to share it with will sit around, silently loathing the continuous exchange of “I love you’s.”
We tend to refer to this particular day as “Singles Awareness Day.” And with good reason. To those who are single, Valenti- I mean, Singles Awareness Day does just that. It makes us more aware of our singleness. Plain and simple.
Now, I’m not going to write a huge sob-story, even though I probably could… However, I should say that many of us who are single probably have a sad story to tell. I’m sorry to say, but I don’t have a whole lot of advice to offer on that part. All I can say is that you shouldn’t lose hope. Eventually, someone will see you for who you are. Just focus on being aware, since you never know when or where you will find this person. Don’t count anyone out.
The feelings of being alone on a day like today are quite hurtful. I can’t help but look back to the past, remembering love that once was. But I can only hope for the future, building excitement for next year, when I might actually have someone to share this day with.
Don’t Ever Give Up Hope!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Another Side, Same Story
All right, here’s the deal. Those of you who survived the tirade that was my last post will have the chance to do so again. Only this time, I’m gonna go from a slightly different perspective. I spent the entire two pages of my last post talking about how too many good girls end up with “bad boys.” But hey, I’m not sexist in any way. So what about the good guys who end up with “bad girls?” As far as I’m concerned, it happens just as often this way as it does reversed. It just isn’t publicized as much.
Now, I could go out of my way to write a whole new sob story for this one, but I think there is a much easier way to do this. Who has heard You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift? If you haven’t heard that song, where have you been? Anyways, that song describes a perfect scenario for this issue. If you are having a hard time understanding what the story is, just watch the music video.
So, in a nutshell, a girl, who has been friends with this guy forever, wants desperately to reveal her feelings to him. The problem? He’s dating a girl who is, excuse my language, a total b***h.
Eventually, the two overcome the odds to reveal their feelings to one another. However, not every similar story has this storybook-style ending.
So what is a “bad girl?” Now, I know there are several people with dirty minds snickering about the sexual implications of that term, but trust me, it’s a lot better than the alternatives. But what is a “bad girl?” I have narrowed down a few characteristics, though like I said in my last post, these do not necessarily make someone a bad person. These are just a few characteristics I have noticed that seem to be common in these types of people.
- She goes through relationships quickly.
- She has good looks and likes to flaunt them.
- She is disrespectful of authority.
- She is easily angered by simple things such as gossip.
- She likes to argue insignificant points.
- She has a violent reputation, and will get in a physical confrontation over insignificant matters.
- She only cares about looks and will readily do anything to maintain them.
- She dates many guys from different schools or areas.
These are just the few I could come up with. Once again, these traits don’t make one a bad person. They are simply warning signs that people, especially guys, need to watch for when making a judgment of character. In fact, this judgment of character is the step most guys leave out.
I’m not saying guys should always be judgmental. However, it is important to make an assessment of character before jumping into a relationship with anyone. So what is an appropriate way to assess character?
It all starts with getting to know the person. This is usually done in the form of casual dates, but I think it is a good idea to know the person a little bit even BEFORE that. Trust me, that theory saved me from jumping into what might have been a devastating relationship a year or two ago. Remember… DON’T RUSH! Doing so will only hurt you in the end.
Before I go any further with this, I need to address a major issue. What is the number-one reason guys go for the bad girls? You guessed it. Sex. This is the biggest factor I have seen. Just remember, relationships cannot be based on sex or looks alone. There has to be true compatibility for a relationship to last. In the end, looks will fade. What truly matters is what is in the heart.
You listening to me guys?
So, here comes the part where I tell you that your priorities need to be re-worked. If only it were that simple. But those with a strong enough heart will be able to see through to the inside. That is the ultimate satisfaction, knowing that you can put looks in the backseat and focus on what truly matters.
Remember, the girl you can truly love and trust, just like the guys in my previous post, is probably right under your nose.
Now, I could go out of my way to write a whole new sob story for this one, but I think there is a much easier way to do this. Who has heard You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift? If you haven’t heard that song, where have you been? Anyways, that song describes a perfect scenario for this issue. If you are having a hard time understanding what the story is, just watch the music video.
So, in a nutshell, a girl, who has been friends with this guy forever, wants desperately to reveal her feelings to him. The problem? He’s dating a girl who is, excuse my language, a total b***h.
Eventually, the two overcome the odds to reveal their feelings to one another. However, not every similar story has this storybook-style ending.
So what is a “bad girl?” Now, I know there are several people with dirty minds snickering about the sexual implications of that term, but trust me, it’s a lot better than the alternatives. But what is a “bad girl?” I have narrowed down a few characteristics, though like I said in my last post, these do not necessarily make someone a bad person. These are just a few characteristics I have noticed that seem to be common in these types of people.
- She goes through relationships quickly.
- She has good looks and likes to flaunt them.
- She is disrespectful of authority.
- She is easily angered by simple things such as gossip.
- She likes to argue insignificant points.
- She has a violent reputation, and will get in a physical confrontation over insignificant matters.
- She only cares about looks and will readily do anything to maintain them.
- She dates many guys from different schools or areas.
These are just the few I could come up with. Once again, these traits don’t make one a bad person. They are simply warning signs that people, especially guys, need to watch for when making a judgment of character. In fact, this judgment of character is the step most guys leave out.
I’m not saying guys should always be judgmental. However, it is important to make an assessment of character before jumping into a relationship with anyone. So what is an appropriate way to assess character?
It all starts with getting to know the person. This is usually done in the form of casual dates, but I think it is a good idea to know the person a little bit even BEFORE that. Trust me, that theory saved me from jumping into what might have been a devastating relationship a year or two ago. Remember… DON’T RUSH! Doing so will only hurt you in the end.
Before I go any further with this, I need to address a major issue. What is the number-one reason guys go for the bad girls? You guessed it. Sex. This is the biggest factor I have seen. Just remember, relationships cannot be based on sex or looks alone. There has to be true compatibility for a relationship to last. In the end, looks will fade. What truly matters is what is in the heart.
You listening to me guys?
So, here comes the part where I tell you that your priorities need to be re-worked. If only it were that simple. But those with a strong enough heart will be able to see through to the inside. That is the ultimate satisfaction, knowing that you can put looks in the backseat and focus on what truly matters.
Remember, the girl you can truly love and trust, just like the guys in my previous post, is probably right under your nose.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Do The Bad Boys Always Win?
I was originally planning on saving this one for a lot longer, but I figured I might as well get the question out of the way. Why do the bad boys always seem to win? Just about every guy with half a heart is desperately searching for the answer to this question.
I’m sure everyone reading this is saying “No, they don’t always win!” Well, if you don’t think so, take a look around. The “bad boys,” as I will be referring to them, don’t ALWAYS win, but they do win a majority of the time. It is evident everywhere.
Have you heard the common story about best friends? You’ll recognize it when I tell it to you.
A girl and a guy are best friends. The guy has a good heart, as does the girl. Slowly, the guy begins falling for her, however, she soon begins dating a different guy. Being best friends, the girl tells him everything about her new relationship, and it soon becomes apparent that this other guy is nothing but trouble. He mistreats her and uses her. The guy longs to step in and do something, or even better, reveal his own feelings for her. However, he does not want to put her through any more trouble than she is already going through, so he remains silent. Eventually, the bad boy breaks up with the girl. The guy feels sorry for her, but harbors a bit of excitement. It looks like he might get a chance to finally tell her how he feels. However, she continues to pursue the bad boy, knowing full well what kind of person he is. And once again, the guy is forced to choke down his feelings. Eventually, the girl and the bad boy get back together again. This cycle continues for several years. Eventually, the girl finally realizes that the bad boy will truly never change. Her best friend continues to comfort her through all of this, and once again hopes for a chance to tell her. However, his enthusiasm is short lived. The girl tells him about another guy she recently met who has been incredibly kind to her. And from there, the cycle looks to begin once again.
Not exactly your happily ever after is it? Obviously, every story is different, but many of them follow a pattern similar to the one found here.
Just to be blunt, I have seen so much of this lately, it makes me want to hurl. Now, I’m not necessarily the one in the middle all the time, but I have seen so many similar stories, it would take me several hundred pages to compile them all.
Now, I’m sure the universal question has now become: “What exactly is a bad boy?” Well, there are countless answers to that single question, but I’m going to try and narrow down a few characteristics.
- He tends to have great looks or some type of outward trait that draws attention. This could be anything from general good looks to a different style of clothing.
- He has the ability to act charming, but his personality can change quickly.
- He is extreme in the audio sense. Either he talks way too much, or way too little.
- He drinks and/or does drugs.
- He is involved in other illegal activity.
- He is cocky or arrogant.
- Sex dominates his conversations, values, and life.
- He goes through relationships quickly.
Now, these are only a few of thousands of characteristics that can and often do define “bad boys.” Just because a guy has some of these traits doesn’t necessarily make him a bad boy, but these are some of the most common.
Most of these are pretty bad traits right? So why do they always end up with the edge over good guys?
Some of this can be explained by the “challenge factor” which I presented in my first post. These guys present a big challenge. The girls who are after them feel special that this guy, who gets into so many relationships chose them over other girls. It also give them what I refer to as the “change challenge.” What isn’t challenging about trying to help rework someone’s priorities in life right? I’m sure the dangerous feel of these types of guys is probably quite attractive to many girls as well.
And don’t forget the looks. The typical bad boy look is emphasized way too much in every aspect of popular culture today. There is one of them in just about every movie you see nowadays. Why wouldn’t any girl want a guy like that?
The real question is…. Is this realistic at all?
Well, most girls like to believe it is. Up until they decide to give him all their love…. And wind up having their hearts broken. Then, they become depressed, log onto Facebook, and like all of these pages that talk about how bad all guys are. Hey, if you don’t believe me, take a look at how many likes some of those pages get. If you fall into that category, you need to WAKE UP! Just because the guy you tried to love was a complete jerk, that doesn’t make all guys like that! In fact, you are probably overlooking that one guy who would be willing to give you his whole heart with no strings attached!
So how do you avoid the bad types and single out the good ones?
First, you need to take another look around you. And be sure to look at EVERY guy, regardless of looks, or whether or not you believe he might have potential. Pay particular interest to the good personality traits in each of them. Don’t just go by looks or outgoingness. A lot of times, the real gem is right under your nose.
Second, you need to be sure to eliminate the “friend zone.” I will elaborate more about the friend zone in a later post. For now, just eliminate friendship as a barrier. Don’t even take it into consideration when you are looking at guys. Many girls unconsciously push the best types of guys into their “friend zones,” labeling them as “too close to date.” I say, forget all that. Some of the best relationships blossom from friendship.
Finally, re-evaluate your priorities and expectations when it comes to guys. If you are continuously being led to the same bad type of guy, then reworking your priorities might help. I know every girl has a list of things she does/doesn’t want to see in a guy. Try throwing out a few of the less important expectations in the “looks” category, such as height, muscle mass, weight, etc. In fact, you don’t even have to throw them out, just loosen up a little bit. You’d be surprised at what you might find.
I’m sure everyone reading this is saying “No, they don’t always win!” Well, if you don’t think so, take a look around. The “bad boys,” as I will be referring to them, don’t ALWAYS win, but they do win a majority of the time. It is evident everywhere.
Have you heard the common story about best friends? You’ll recognize it when I tell it to you.
A girl and a guy are best friends. The guy has a good heart, as does the girl. Slowly, the guy begins falling for her, however, she soon begins dating a different guy. Being best friends, the girl tells him everything about her new relationship, and it soon becomes apparent that this other guy is nothing but trouble. He mistreats her and uses her. The guy longs to step in and do something, or even better, reveal his own feelings for her. However, he does not want to put her through any more trouble than she is already going through, so he remains silent. Eventually, the bad boy breaks up with the girl. The guy feels sorry for her, but harbors a bit of excitement. It looks like he might get a chance to finally tell her how he feels. However, she continues to pursue the bad boy, knowing full well what kind of person he is. And once again, the guy is forced to choke down his feelings. Eventually, the girl and the bad boy get back together again. This cycle continues for several years. Eventually, the girl finally realizes that the bad boy will truly never change. Her best friend continues to comfort her through all of this, and once again hopes for a chance to tell her. However, his enthusiasm is short lived. The girl tells him about another guy she recently met who has been incredibly kind to her. And from there, the cycle looks to begin once again.
Not exactly your happily ever after is it? Obviously, every story is different, but many of them follow a pattern similar to the one found here.
Just to be blunt, I have seen so much of this lately, it makes me want to hurl. Now, I’m not necessarily the one in the middle all the time, but I have seen so many similar stories, it would take me several hundred pages to compile them all.
Now, I’m sure the universal question has now become: “What exactly is a bad boy?” Well, there are countless answers to that single question, but I’m going to try and narrow down a few characteristics.
- He tends to have great looks or some type of outward trait that draws attention. This could be anything from general good looks to a different style of clothing.
- He has the ability to act charming, but his personality can change quickly.
- He is extreme in the audio sense. Either he talks way too much, or way too little.
- He drinks and/or does drugs.
- He is involved in other illegal activity.
- He is cocky or arrogant.
- Sex dominates his conversations, values, and life.
- He goes through relationships quickly.
Now, these are only a few of thousands of characteristics that can and often do define “bad boys.” Just because a guy has some of these traits doesn’t necessarily make him a bad boy, but these are some of the most common.
Most of these are pretty bad traits right? So why do they always end up with the edge over good guys?
Some of this can be explained by the “challenge factor” which I presented in my first post. These guys present a big challenge. The girls who are after them feel special that this guy, who gets into so many relationships chose them over other girls. It also give them what I refer to as the “change challenge.” What isn’t challenging about trying to help rework someone’s priorities in life right? I’m sure the dangerous feel of these types of guys is probably quite attractive to many girls as well.
And don’t forget the looks. The typical bad boy look is emphasized way too much in every aspect of popular culture today. There is one of them in just about every movie you see nowadays. Why wouldn’t any girl want a guy like that?
The real question is…. Is this realistic at all?
Well, most girls like to believe it is. Up until they decide to give him all their love…. And wind up having their hearts broken. Then, they become depressed, log onto Facebook, and like all of these pages that talk about how bad all guys are. Hey, if you don’t believe me, take a look at how many likes some of those pages get. If you fall into that category, you need to WAKE UP! Just because the guy you tried to love was a complete jerk, that doesn’t make all guys like that! In fact, you are probably overlooking that one guy who would be willing to give you his whole heart with no strings attached!
So how do you avoid the bad types and single out the good ones?
First, you need to take another look around you. And be sure to look at EVERY guy, regardless of looks, or whether or not you believe he might have potential. Pay particular interest to the good personality traits in each of them. Don’t just go by looks or outgoingness. A lot of times, the real gem is right under your nose.
Second, you need to be sure to eliminate the “friend zone.” I will elaborate more about the friend zone in a later post. For now, just eliminate friendship as a barrier. Don’t even take it into consideration when you are looking at guys. Many girls unconsciously push the best types of guys into their “friend zones,” labeling them as “too close to date.” I say, forget all that. Some of the best relationships blossom from friendship.
Finally, re-evaluate your priorities and expectations when it comes to guys. If you are continuously being led to the same bad type of guy, then reworking your priorities might help. I know every girl has a list of things she does/doesn’t want to see in a guy. Try throwing out a few of the less important expectations in the “looks” category, such as height, muscle mass, weight, etc. In fact, you don’t even have to throw them out, just loosen up a little bit. You’d be surprised at what you might find.
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