No, I'm not going to jump on the celebrity gossip train and talk about all the famous people in relationships right now. Quite frankly, none of it interests me.
In case you can't tell, I'm not one to heap a whole lot of praise on celebrities. In fact, I usually do just the opposite. I am not fond of famous people. And not because of jealousy. I would be perfectly fine with a celebrity out there who had some kind of common sense. Unfortunately, those types are extremely difficult to find.
Even for a person who typically avoids celebrity gossip and Ryan Seacrest, since his only purpose in life is to spread such gossip, I get bombarded by the stuff like everyone else. It is in the regular news headlines, and all over cyberspace. I apologize for adding to this crap, but trust me, I'm gonna make something out of it.
The only reason I'm writing about celebrities at all is to show people exactly why all of this drama unfolds in the world of the rich and famous. Much of it is due to the fact that people tend to change for the worse when they become famous. If you don't believe me, just read the biographies of a few celebs on Wikipedia and see what turns up. Fame destroys people. Plain and simple. There are a few rare exceptions (ex: Tim Tebow), but for the most part, fame is one of the greatest enemies a person can face. Fame is power. And power corrupts. Not to mention that it inflates a person's own self-image to the point where it is almost impossible for them to believe they aren't all-important.
Yes, I have a negative opinion of fame. And yet I have that secret urge, like many others, to become famous. Just what I would do with that fame is uncertain. I would hope that I could follow my heart as I always have and beat one of the greatest temptations in the history of mankind. But hey, I'll cover that more when I get there....
I'm sure everyone reading this is wondering... What does this have to do with relationships?
Well, I'm sure we've all heard the latest news in celebrity relationships. Katy Perry and Russel Brand are toast. Funny thing is, I saw that one coming from over a year away. Yup. I knew as soon as they got together that they would end. I'm not gonna sit here and call myself a psychic or anything, so don't think I'm trying to credit myself with anything here. Just about anyone can step up and say that they successfully predicted the downfall of a famous relationship.
The fact of the matter is, celebrities have the odds stacked against them when it comes to relationships. I'll give them that much. They basically have two options:
1: Go after someone famous.
2: Test the waters with unfamous people.
The first of which is almost always a terrible option. Obviously, this one depends on the people involved, but just about all celebrities tend to have pretty big egos. Putting together two people who both think they are ultimately important is never a good idea. But besides that, celebrities are constantly off doing things to make themselves more famous. That doesn't exactly amount to a whole lot of time being spent together. And aside from that, most celebrities also have a huge fan pool to chose from if they decide to go after someone else. And when you're famous, I'm sure the temptation is pretty high.
But unfamous people are hardly a good choice either. When you're famous, I'm sure it is really difficult to tell if anyone who lines up to date you is actually genuine, or whether they just want to be with you because well... you're famous. And besides that, a person unused to media attention might have a bit of a problem adjusting. So it isn't usually fair to either person.
The problem is, most celebrities choose the first option. And even more to that point, there is both a huge amount of diversity there, and at the same time, barely any at all. Sure, most celebs are hardly ordinary (picture Lady GaGa), but perhaps this is the problem. After all, extreme personalities usually never mesh well.
But an even bigger problem originates from the fact that many celebrities seem to enter relationships simply for publicity. These are the types of see-through relationships that really give love a bad name. Anyone remember Kim Kardashian? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I don't think this one needs any further explanation.
The biggest thing I'm trying to prove here is that, no matter what the media says, celebrity relationships are hardly realistic in any way. And yet, they are some of the most marketed news in the world.
Back to Katy Perry, she is one of the prime examples of a celebrity who is dead to what love truly is. My evidence of this comes from a concert she did just before entering her relationship with that brute Brand. She did a concert for her former high school. And during the performance, she called out a particular guy she supposedly had a crush on during her time in school. She essentially told him: "You sure made the right choice by not choosing me." What's the problem with a little old-school celeb revenge on the jerk that ignored her? Well, for starters, she obviously didn't do her research. The guy fell in love with and married his high-school sweetheart. I can't even bring myself to imagine why someone would choose fame over something as magical as an ending like that. And aside from that, just the fact that Katy seems to think that her fame suddenly makes her irresistible to guys like that is just absurd. I know I would choose the happy ending over fame in a heartbeat.
C'mon. A guy like Brand? That's her idea of a good relationship? Now, I don't know Russel personally, so I probably shouldn't pass judgement. But you get the idea.
I already went over much of this in a previous post, in which I slammed the whole "Journey debacle," in which one of Journey's band members engaged in an elaborate affair that left me sick every time I hear their song "Faithfully." This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about in celebrity relationships. And it is the kind of thing I'm sick of.
Now, earlier, I painted a picture of celebrities being stuck in a near-impossible situation when it comes to who to love. However, there is another way. As I've been preaching all along, perhaps what you're looking for is right beside you. Most people who are famous, weren't always that way. And celebrities, unless they REALLY let fame go to their heads, typically have a close group of friends that they still maintain contact with. These are the people you can trust.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
New Years Resolutions
Yes, it has been several days since New Years. Has everyone kept their resolutions so far?
Anyways, I made a few resolutions myself. I'm not going to share all of them, but there was one in particular that I was tested on right away.
Before I get into any of that, it is important for me to clear my beliefs when it comes to New Years resolutions. I definitely believe in making resolutions, though they shouldn't be forced. I don't write my resolutions out, and I don't plan them months ahead of time. I just think about things I could do better on over the next year. So, needless to say, I'm not exactly the most serious person when it comes to resolutions. But I'm not the type of person that thinks I have nothing that can be improved either.
With that said, one of my resolutions really stood out above the rest. I told myself that I needed to be much more straightforward with people.
That does seem a bit general, but anyone who talks with me on a consistent basis probably knows more specifically what I'm referring to. When a conversation turns toward secrets, or perhaps, something that has a risk of being offensive to one or both people involved, I have a tendency to become quite cryptic. This means that I begin to give very vague and coded answers to questions that people often want a direct answer to. Now, I'm not going to eliminate doing this entirely. I actually enjoy my ability to make people think for themselves. However, last year gave me a few opportunities to see places where it might have been better to give a more direct answer, and then back it up the way I do here on the blog.
Little did I expect this particular resolution to be tested so early.
In reality, the situation set itself up several days before I even made the resolution. I had sent a bulk text message to everyone on my contacts list (which actually created several awkward situations) wishing them a merry Christmas. A girl whom I have not talked to for some time responded. She is one of the girls whom I have mentioned in several previous posts, all from a while ago. She appeared in my blog previously as one of the girls who was helping me to lose faith in relationships and love in general. I had previously coached her in finding a true relationship, as she had found herself abandoned by her boyfriend, who had lost interest in her. From what I could gather about him, he was a jerk, and I simply gave her instructions on how to look deeper. But as mentioned before, all the advice I gave her seemed to fly right over her head, and she ended up falling for another guy based on nothing but a Facebook photo.
If you've read some of my previous posts, you probably know now which girl I'm referring to. Ironic as it may sound, those events were actually the inspiration for this resolution. I failed to give her my true opinion about how love based on a photo is just a quick path to heartbreak. Instead, I made my answers cryptic and it turns out, she never figured them out. By the time I told her about her mistake straight-up, she had already gone and made the mistake of pursuing this "love by photo."
After that, I had the idea for this resolution. It seems only fitting that she should be the one to put it to the test.
Anyways, I haven't talked to her in a long time. She went away to school and, as far as I can tell, went and got her old boyfriend back (the one who "got bored with her"), and is now living life exactly the way she told me she didn't want to. In light of all that, I really didn't want to talk to her anyways, as she seems to want to make all the wrong decisions, despite what I've tried to tell her.
This sudden text message changed all that. Suddenly, she was talking to me again. And like before, she was asking for advice on all of her problems. Just a day after New Years, I asked her if she was doing any better.
The tale that followed that question is one that I should probably keep to myself, as I'm not one to spill other people's secrets on the Internet. However, it involved her hanging out with some of her boyfriends pals, and them doing some not-so-acceptable things to her.
She continued on about how her boyfriend wasn't doing much about it, and how he didn't seem to care about it as much as she thought he should. Anyone else see what's coming?
Remembering my resolution, I told her exactly how I saw things. And I'll sum things up, because I did go on a bit of a rant. But what I said basically amounted to:
"With a guy like that, you're gonna get that kind of stuff. He's a bad person. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY you love him? Sure, love does not always need a reason but... you're missing a whole half of the equation. That is, the part where he loves you back. There are people out there that would be willing to love you with every ounce of their being. And you're missing that. Sure, they are few and far between, but they're worth searching for. And trust me, you'll never find that kind of deeper love with him."
I never received a response.
Either way, I was proud of my ability, instead of getting all cryptic like I usually do, to stand up and tell it like it is. Despite the fact that she never answered me, and we haven't spoken since, I know I made her really think. And that is what mattered in the end.
So for those of you who know me, be cautious about what questions you ask me, unless you want the straight-up truth.
Anyways, I made a few resolutions myself. I'm not going to share all of them, but there was one in particular that I was tested on right away.
Before I get into any of that, it is important for me to clear my beliefs when it comes to New Years resolutions. I definitely believe in making resolutions, though they shouldn't be forced. I don't write my resolutions out, and I don't plan them months ahead of time. I just think about things I could do better on over the next year. So, needless to say, I'm not exactly the most serious person when it comes to resolutions. But I'm not the type of person that thinks I have nothing that can be improved either.
With that said, one of my resolutions really stood out above the rest. I told myself that I needed to be much more straightforward with people.
That does seem a bit general, but anyone who talks with me on a consistent basis probably knows more specifically what I'm referring to. When a conversation turns toward secrets, or perhaps, something that has a risk of being offensive to one or both people involved, I have a tendency to become quite cryptic. This means that I begin to give very vague and coded answers to questions that people often want a direct answer to. Now, I'm not going to eliminate doing this entirely. I actually enjoy my ability to make people think for themselves. However, last year gave me a few opportunities to see places where it might have been better to give a more direct answer, and then back it up the way I do here on the blog.
Little did I expect this particular resolution to be tested so early.
In reality, the situation set itself up several days before I even made the resolution. I had sent a bulk text message to everyone on my contacts list (which actually created several awkward situations) wishing them a merry Christmas. A girl whom I have not talked to for some time responded. She is one of the girls whom I have mentioned in several previous posts, all from a while ago. She appeared in my blog previously as one of the girls who was helping me to lose faith in relationships and love in general. I had previously coached her in finding a true relationship, as she had found herself abandoned by her boyfriend, who had lost interest in her. From what I could gather about him, he was a jerk, and I simply gave her instructions on how to look deeper. But as mentioned before, all the advice I gave her seemed to fly right over her head, and she ended up falling for another guy based on nothing but a Facebook photo.
If you've read some of my previous posts, you probably know now which girl I'm referring to. Ironic as it may sound, those events were actually the inspiration for this resolution. I failed to give her my true opinion about how love based on a photo is just a quick path to heartbreak. Instead, I made my answers cryptic and it turns out, she never figured them out. By the time I told her about her mistake straight-up, she had already gone and made the mistake of pursuing this "love by photo."
After that, I had the idea for this resolution. It seems only fitting that she should be the one to put it to the test.
Anyways, I haven't talked to her in a long time. She went away to school and, as far as I can tell, went and got her old boyfriend back (the one who "got bored with her"), and is now living life exactly the way she told me she didn't want to. In light of all that, I really didn't want to talk to her anyways, as she seems to want to make all the wrong decisions, despite what I've tried to tell her.
This sudden text message changed all that. Suddenly, she was talking to me again. And like before, she was asking for advice on all of her problems. Just a day after New Years, I asked her if she was doing any better.
The tale that followed that question is one that I should probably keep to myself, as I'm not one to spill other people's secrets on the Internet. However, it involved her hanging out with some of her boyfriends pals, and them doing some not-so-acceptable things to her.
She continued on about how her boyfriend wasn't doing much about it, and how he didn't seem to care about it as much as she thought he should. Anyone else see what's coming?
Remembering my resolution, I told her exactly how I saw things. And I'll sum things up, because I did go on a bit of a rant. But what I said basically amounted to:
"With a guy like that, you're gonna get that kind of stuff. He's a bad person. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY you love him? Sure, love does not always need a reason but... you're missing a whole half of the equation. That is, the part where he loves you back. There are people out there that would be willing to love you with every ounce of their being. And you're missing that. Sure, they are few and far between, but they're worth searching for. And trust me, you'll never find that kind of deeper love with him."
I never received a response.
Either way, I was proud of my ability, instead of getting all cryptic like I usually do, to stand up and tell it like it is. Despite the fact that she never answered me, and we haven't spoken since, I know I made her really think. And that is what mattered in the end.
So for those of you who know me, be cautious about what questions you ask me, unless you want the straight-up truth.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Alone for the Holidays
Ok, its the holidays, and I have been missing something important... such as a holiday-themed post. So, being Christmas Eve, it is only appropriate that this post has a holiday theme to it. I have actually been planning on posting about the holidays for a while now, but I have so far been unable to put those feelings about the holidays and Christmas into words. Anyways, hopefully my words now will be able to fully convey some of the feelings of the holidays.
Anyways, as the title suggests, I'm alone yet again for the holidays. Truthfully, I'm not entirely alone. I am incredibly thankful for my friends and family, who are there for me as always. But with that said, there is still a piece missing.
It has never been more difficult to be alone on the holidays. If anyone has ever listened to Christmas music, you probably know part of the story. It seems like all Christmas music mentions being in a relationship at some point. And that isn't even half of it. One can't go anywhere without seeing couples engaging in holiday activities and enjoying their "togetherness." I can't help but feel like the holidays, Christmas and New Years especially, have become couples holidays.
For all of you lonely hearts out there this Christmas, I feel your pain. I've been through it plenty of times. I usually spend much of the month leading up to Christmas and New Years bracing myself for yet another holiday season alone. It really does hurt to see all of those couples out there enjoying the holidays together. It hurts even more to not have someone special to buy presents for, or someone to cuddle with to keep warm. It is the small things like these that are often taken for granted by people who are constantly in a relationship, but at the same time, they are the things that many singles wish they could have. But then, it definitely isn't all about those. It is more about being able to share the holiday spirit with someone who loves you, whom you love in return.
That said, I felt something different this year. It was an odd sense of hope. It was brought upon by an interesting series of events, and a few things that I might be mistaken about. Nonetheless, it gives me a tiny bit of hope where I need it most. Perhaps I might find what I'm looking for after all.
Perhaps the magic of the holidays will be the spark that makes my dream come true?
Despite the fact that I have looked down upon the holidays when it comes to relationships, it might not take much to change my opinion. But who knows? My future, and the future of anyone who joins me in loneliness this holiday, has the potential to be quite bright.
And so, as I continue on to New Years, I will hold this new light closely. Maybe... just maybe... it might prove to be what I am looking for.
Anyways, as the title suggests, I'm alone yet again for the holidays. Truthfully, I'm not entirely alone. I am incredibly thankful for my friends and family, who are there for me as always. But with that said, there is still a piece missing.
It has never been more difficult to be alone on the holidays. If anyone has ever listened to Christmas music, you probably know part of the story. It seems like all Christmas music mentions being in a relationship at some point. And that isn't even half of it. One can't go anywhere without seeing couples engaging in holiday activities and enjoying their "togetherness." I can't help but feel like the holidays, Christmas and New Years especially, have become couples holidays.
For all of you lonely hearts out there this Christmas, I feel your pain. I've been through it plenty of times. I usually spend much of the month leading up to Christmas and New Years bracing myself for yet another holiday season alone. It really does hurt to see all of those couples out there enjoying the holidays together. It hurts even more to not have someone special to buy presents for, or someone to cuddle with to keep warm. It is the small things like these that are often taken for granted by people who are constantly in a relationship, but at the same time, they are the things that many singles wish they could have. But then, it definitely isn't all about those. It is more about being able to share the holiday spirit with someone who loves you, whom you love in return.
That said, I felt something different this year. It was an odd sense of hope. It was brought upon by an interesting series of events, and a few things that I might be mistaken about. Nonetheless, it gives me a tiny bit of hope where I need it most. Perhaps I might find what I'm looking for after all.
Perhaps the magic of the holidays will be the spark that makes my dream come true?
Despite the fact that I have looked down upon the holidays when it comes to relationships, it might not take much to change my opinion. But who knows? My future, and the future of anyone who joins me in loneliness this holiday, has the potential to be quite bright.
And so, as I continue on to New Years, I will hold this new light closely. Maybe... just maybe... it might prove to be what I am looking for.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Blinding
It is kinda weird... all in one day, the lives of several people I know have been turned upside down. I've rediscovered people I once knew and have missed, and some I'd rather forget. And at the same time, several of those people that I have studied for a long time have had things go seriously wrong in their lives.
I'm sure my use of the word "studied" has many people scratching their heads. These just so happen to be the people that I might have mentioned in this blog before. I have used several of them as examples here, and I tend to keep them in the back of my mind when I'm writing posts like these.
It is interesting to note that I have also predicted a lot of these things. Not that I'm psychic or anything, just intuition.
Either way, the whole situation both excites and frustrates me. It kills me to admit that another person's suffering excites me at all, and it is definitely overshadowed by the further pain I feel because of people like these. If they would just wake up and see what life really has to offer... and that also means looking deeper. If one can only see the surface of things, it is much more likely that life will be able to find a way to bring one down.
It is difficult to explain my feelings regarding these people. Many of them, I have had feelings for in the past, and it is an interesting concept seeing them fail (primarily in other relationships). It just makes me think... could I have made a difference?
I tend to feel quite insignificant when it comes to these things... People don't notice me the same way they notice others for some reason. I'm not sure if it has to do with my personality, or perhaps my appearance. Either way, I know that none of them took the chance to look deeper. Because I know I have something more to give.
It is also kinda funny... many of them post quotes of sadness and desperation on Facebook and other places. It upsets me at a deeper level to see this because it makes me feel like I might have been able to make a difference after all. But as I mentioned before, for that to happen, they would have had to look deeper in the first place. Many of these quotes upset me more, because they seem to assume that the world is against them. The fact of the matter is, the world can't be against them because... I'm not. I never was, and don't plan on being so. And the fact of the matter was, I could have been the one to wipe away their tears. But instead, I'm the one wiping my own tears. All because they refused to look deeper.
At the same time, I'm forced to look to the future. They say that when one door shuts, another opens. I might have seen that door. And what is behind that door... is everything I could have ever imagined. The only problem is bridging the gap from here to there. And could it really be everything I'm looking for? Or would it simply be another letdown?
Those types of questions threaten to hold me back from finding something truly special. But I can only hope and believe that once something right finds me... it will all work itself out.
In the end, people seem to be blinded to what really matters. They overlook what they swear matters most to them. And in the end... it costs them dearly. Unfortunately, it costs everyone around them too. Simply because they might be blinded by what has happened, and refuse to accept true happiness when they have a shot at it. It is one of the many principles that inspired the creation of this blog and continues to inspire it today.
And so my search continues for one who has the ability to look deeper. Have I already found what I seek? Or is it just another dead end? I suppose I'll find out one way or another.
And with that... I can only write on. And hope somebody will listen.
I'm sure my use of the word "studied" has many people scratching their heads. These just so happen to be the people that I might have mentioned in this blog before. I have used several of them as examples here, and I tend to keep them in the back of my mind when I'm writing posts like these.
It is interesting to note that I have also predicted a lot of these things. Not that I'm psychic or anything, just intuition.
Either way, the whole situation both excites and frustrates me. It kills me to admit that another person's suffering excites me at all, and it is definitely overshadowed by the further pain I feel because of people like these. If they would just wake up and see what life really has to offer... and that also means looking deeper. If one can only see the surface of things, it is much more likely that life will be able to find a way to bring one down.
It is difficult to explain my feelings regarding these people. Many of them, I have had feelings for in the past, and it is an interesting concept seeing them fail (primarily in other relationships). It just makes me think... could I have made a difference?
I tend to feel quite insignificant when it comes to these things... People don't notice me the same way they notice others for some reason. I'm not sure if it has to do with my personality, or perhaps my appearance. Either way, I know that none of them took the chance to look deeper. Because I know I have something more to give.
It is also kinda funny... many of them post quotes of sadness and desperation on Facebook and other places. It upsets me at a deeper level to see this because it makes me feel like I might have been able to make a difference after all. But as I mentioned before, for that to happen, they would have had to look deeper in the first place. Many of these quotes upset me more, because they seem to assume that the world is against them. The fact of the matter is, the world can't be against them because... I'm not. I never was, and don't plan on being so. And the fact of the matter was, I could have been the one to wipe away their tears. But instead, I'm the one wiping my own tears. All because they refused to look deeper.
At the same time, I'm forced to look to the future. They say that when one door shuts, another opens. I might have seen that door. And what is behind that door... is everything I could have ever imagined. The only problem is bridging the gap from here to there. And could it really be everything I'm looking for? Or would it simply be another letdown?
Those types of questions threaten to hold me back from finding something truly special. But I can only hope and believe that once something right finds me... it will all work itself out.
In the end, people seem to be blinded to what really matters. They overlook what they swear matters most to them. And in the end... it costs them dearly. Unfortunately, it costs everyone around them too. Simply because they might be blinded by what has happened, and refuse to accept true happiness when they have a shot at it. It is one of the many principles that inspired the creation of this blog and continues to inspire it today.
And so my search continues for one who has the ability to look deeper. Have I already found what I seek? Or is it just another dead end? I suppose I'll find out one way or another.
And with that... I can only write on. And hope somebody will listen.
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