I had just gotten home tonight, and had logged onto Facebook, when I noticed an interesting post. A girl I know distantly had posted a picture of a small piece of paper one of her co-workers had written to her. It read "My friend in the red shirt thinks you are attractive. He is shy. Call him maybe?" Then, it listed his name and number. Now, aside from the obvious (and rather cheesy) "Call me maybe" reference, this is a rather cute surprise. One that I would die to have happen to me. Of course, that stuff never does... Anyways, enough about me. What could anyone possibly find wrong with this?
Leave it to jerks on Facebook to come up with the answer. Shortly after the picture was posted, a guy posted what seemed like a reasonable and intriguing answer. He said: "Boo. If a guy wants you in his world, he will make it happen. It took his friend to leave the number. No brainer. No call."
Seems like a pretty reasonable answer doesn't it? Well, it only seems this way to those who don't understand what shyness is, and how it factors into situations like these. You see, while this statement makes sense at first, you have to take it into context to really see where it goes wrong. As usual, I'll break it down for you.
First of all, since when did this become about a guy wanting a girl in his world? Last I checked, this was more about a potential future relationship, not an instant one. Besides, since when does a phone call make her "in his world?" This whole statement is hypocritical from the get-go. (Not to mention the "Boo" part.) Lets face it. This is probably a poor guy who, like me, isn't fond of throwing himself at girls. He is probably just wishing some girl would have a good enough heart to give him a chance. Unfortunately, thanks to this jerk's post (and the "like" it was given by the girl the note was written to), he will probably be shunned yet again. Overall, it is extremely unfair to talk about how a guy will make things happen if he wants a girl in his world, because that is a statement best applied to those already in a relationship. Not to mention its applications to girls who are in love with a guy who gives them nothing in return. To take such a statement, and use it to talk about how a girl shouldn't give a guy a chance is extremely stupid and arrogant.
Second, the "It took his friend to leave the number" part. Where to begin here... This, to me, just sounds like an insult. It is an insult directed at this shy fellow, who probably didn't even ask for this to happen in the first place. Anyone who has been around their friends for long enough knows how this goes. You mention to one of them that you think somebody is cute. Then, they try to use every excuse to embarrass you. It is all in good fun, and they are usually hoping that the two end up together because of their antics. So, more than likely, this guy had no control over the situation. Yes, there is the possibility that he asked his friends to do this, but even I can sympathize with him in that situation. Sure, it isn't the most "manly" thing to do, but it is nothing to be ashamed of either. Not every guy likes to go around everywhere shoving his number in attractive girls' faces like it's nothing. For some, pursuit of a girl is a unique and rare experience. One that takes time and interest to warm up to. And in those cases, the guy is much less likely to walk up and use some cheesy pick-up lines, then dump his number on a girl. How romantic is that? Not very. While the secretive message isn't much better, it still has an air of mystery and intrigue to it. So c'mon... give the guy some credit.
Third, whats with the "No brainer" thing? As if being an aggressive jerk is the only way to play things in (or before) a relationship? C'mon... since when are all guys supposed to be the same? Ok, not all guys who give out their number to girls are aggressive jerks, but some of them are. So what's wrong with being different? Why can't someone step outside the norm every now and again? It certainly keeps things interesting. While most of this was probably orchestrated by this guy's friends, you can still give him some credit for playing things differently. Most importantly, not being the guy who jumps at appearances and decides to put everything on the line for a girl he only knows at a glance. Kinda puts the whole "If he wants her in his life" quote from earlier in perspective and makes it sound foolish huh?
Fourth and finally, the "No call" bit. Frankly, this is the worst part of this whole thing. The posting loser thinks that, because of the nonsense he spewed earlier in the post, that he has somehow proved a point, and that the girl shouldn't even give this guy a chance. Remember, SHE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HIM, save for the fact that he is shy. What exactly does that prove? Does being shy make him a bad person that deserves to be avoided? Hell no. It just makes him DIFFERENT. So what the poster is implying is that, despite the fact that she knows nothing about this guy, other than the fact that he is shy, she should ignore him because he didn't bring his number to her in person. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the guy is perfect because he is shy. Shyness doesn't necessarily mean that he'll be a great person deep down. But it can hide gems sometimes. And the person that doesn't take a look to find out could be the one missing out on the find of a lifetime.
Okay, I might have overdone it this time. But I couldn't help but feel a deep-seated anger after reading that post, and seeing the girl agree with such worthless relationship advice. How can anyone advocate for missing out on a potential gem? Thanks to that post, my appetite has been lost for the entire evening. I hope that the jerk who posted that advice is happy. Someone he has never met lost his dinner over how dumb his post was. And to the girl that decided to take (or at least "like") his advice, I weep for you too. Following the advice of fools like this will most likely have you in a relationship with an overly assertive type of guy. I'm not saying that such a trait is bad, but it can be in some situations. Especially since guys who are confident enough to hand you their number in person have likely done the same thing with a large number of other women. How does THAT make you feel? And finally, my heart goes out to the poor guy who was rejected because some jerk painted him as a loser because he was shy. Nothing is wrong with being shy. It is a personality trait that I admire, because any time that shyness is broken is a gift to the person who broke it. It makes a person that much more special to the ones who are willing to look past the shy exterior, and to the heart within.
In addition, to all of the readers out there... If you ever get relationship advice like this, don't forget to check with your heart first. The best advice anyone can give is to just be yourself, whether your heart is worn on your sleeve, or locked away for someone special to find.
