Ok, so my journey has just barely begun, and already I am
overwhelmed with too many things to write about. This particular post will be
about many of the things that have already occurred. Many of them are not
recent.
I suppose you could technically say that I began this
journey about a year ago when I created my online dating profile. For the sake
of honesty, I can’t claim that I've been on this journey for that long. When I
actually started it, it was really only a halfhearted thing, not really meant to
be taken seriously. I was curious about what these sites had to offer, so I
needed to sign up for one and create a profile. I’ll admit, I was hoping to
break down how they determined compatibility between people based on the
questions they asked. I did discover a few things, but many of them slip my
mind because of how long ago this was.
Before all of that, I needed to decide on one dating site to
use.
This was not nearly as much of a challenge as it might seem
at first. I broke down the sites based on a lot of different criteria. However,
I primarily wanted to use a website that focused on quality, not quantity.
Anyone can throw together a website that pairs single people with other single
people. It isn't that difficult. However, there are a lot of different
variables that determine whether or not any subsequent dates will be worth each
persons’ time, or will be a waste of time. That is where the whole
“compatibility” aspect comes in.
I looked at a bunch of free dating sites first. Websites
like PlentyOfFish seemed like I viable option at first. However, after looking
into them a little bit, I realized how hopeless that would be. First of all,
without the income from subscriptions, these websites obviously couldn't afford
to design any sort of decent compatibility algorithms. So essentially, they
were mostly just mediums for people to meet one another. Not bad in that
aspect, but not quite what I was looking for.
After reading some reviews about them, I also realized that
many of the people on these websites suffered from certain forms of delusion.
Basically, the people looking to be matched by these websites were INCREDIBLY
picky about who they would even consider being paired with. If you looked like
anything less than a god or goddess, you would probably be ignored by the
majority of the community on these sites.
Also, being free sites, anyone could join without reason.
Based on the way that the internet works, this hardly makes for a healthy
community. It didn't take me long to deduce that these sites were probably
filled with all sorts of spambots and trolls. That isn't mentioning the
security aspect. The risk of being trapped by a “catfish,” or someone who lies
about who they are on the internet in order to trick someone else into a false
relationship, was just too great. And yes, these people do exist. I've
discovered them before. They do this for all kinds of reasons. Some of them do
it looking to scam money. Others do it in order to obtain some form of good
feeling about themselves. Still others do it just because it is fun. No matter
what way you look at it, it is incredibly reprehensible. And unfortunately,
because they have to pay nothing in order to access these sites, they tend to
be everywhere.
Needless to say, the free sites are out of the question.
So, I decided to take a look at the subscription-based
sites. There are certainly plenty of them out there. You have Match.com,
Eharmony, and ChristianMingle.com... I could go on with the list for a while. I
ruled out Match.com almost right away. They are a good site, don’t get me
wrong. I was simply looking for one that favored the quality of your matches
over the quantity of matches (or dates). And while the prospect of having the
biggest user base of any site out there was definitely intriguing, I ultimately
ended up deciding against it.
I also looked at ChristianMingle.com as a potential site to
use. It would seem like a good match, as I am a devout Christian myself, and I
would really prefer to be matched with someone of my faith. However, I ultimately
decided that it wasn't one-hundred percent necessary that the other person
share my exact faith. I would definitely consider someone of a different faith,
or no faith at all, as long as they were able to respect and understand my
faith and why I am a part of it, and why other people are as well. I was also
unable to get a good reading on how big the user base actually was. This did
worry me a little bit, as I didn't want to be matched with just a few people
and have that be the end of it. And keep in mind, this was before they began
their aggressive advertising campaign, so it was probably even smaller back
then. I did decide to keep it in mind as a second option, however, in case my
final decision ended up falling through.
I took a look at several dating sites and apps on Facebook
as well. However, none of these got good reviews, and would all want access to
all of your personal information on Facebook and such. I even got word that
several of them had the tendency to access your account and post random stuff
once they got access to your information. So sites like Zoosk were definitely
out.
In case you don’t have it figured out yet, I eventually
ended up choosing Eharmony.com as the site that I will be using for this
undertaking. It just seemed like the right combination of a large user base,
many different customizable options to determine who you are matched with, and
that focus on quality over quantity that I mentioned before. So, it is here
that my journey will begin.
On a side note, I have to admit that it is rather awkward to
be talking about choosing dating sites. For whatever reason, this often feels
to me like something deeply personal. And perhaps it is. It just feels rather
difficult to talk about. Hopefully I’ll have even more insight as to why
eventually.
