Another Side, Same Story

All right, here’s the deal. Those of you who survived the tirade that was my last post will have the chance to do so again. Only this time, I’m gonna go from a slightly different perspective. I spent the entire two pages of my last post talking about how too many good girls end up with “bad boys.” But hey, I’m not sexist in any way. So what about the good guys who end up with “bad girls?” As far as I’m concerned, it happens just as often this way as it does reversed. It just isn’t publicized as much.
Now, I could go out of my way to write a whole new sob story for this one, but I think there is a much easier way to do this. Who has heard You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift? If you haven’t heard that song, where have you been? Anyways, that song describes a perfect scenario for this issue. If you are having a hard time understanding what the story is, just watch the music video.
So, in a nutshell, a girl, who has been friends with this guy forever, wants desperately to reveal her feelings to him. The problem? He’s dating a girl who is, excuse my language, a total b***h.
Eventually, the two overcome the odds to reveal their feelings to one another. However, not every similar story has this storybook-style ending.
So what is a “bad girl?” Now, I know there are several people with dirty minds snickering about the sexual implications of that term, but trust me, it’s a lot better than the alternatives. But what is a “bad girl?” I have narrowed down a few characteristics, though like I said in my last post, these do not necessarily make someone a bad person. These are just a few characteristics I have noticed that seem to be common in these types of people.

- She goes through relationships quickly.
- She has good looks and likes to flaunt them.
- She is disrespectful of authority.
- She is easily angered by simple things such as gossip.
- She likes to argue insignificant points.
- She has a violent reputation, and will get in a physical confrontation over insignificant matters.
- She only cares about looks and will readily do anything to maintain them.
- She dates many guys from different schools or areas.

These are just the few I could come up with. Once again, these traits don’t make one a bad person. They are simply warning signs that people, especially guys, need to watch for when making a judgment of character. In fact, this judgment of character is the step most guys leave out.
I’m not saying guys should always be judgmental. However, it is important to make an assessment of character before jumping into a relationship with anyone. So what is an appropriate way to assess character?
It all starts with getting to know the person. This is usually done in the form of casual dates, but I think it is a good idea to know the person a little bit even BEFORE that. Trust me, that theory saved me from jumping into what might have been a devastating relationship a year or two ago. Remember… DON’T RUSH! Doing so will only hurt you in the end.
Before I go any further with this, I need to address a major issue. What is the number-one reason guys go for the bad girls? You guessed it. Sex. This is the biggest factor I have seen. Just remember, relationships cannot be based on sex or looks alone. There has to be true compatibility for a relationship to last. In the end, looks will fade. What truly matters is what is in the heart.
You listening to me guys?
So, here comes the part where I tell you that your priorities need to be re-worked. If only it were that simple. But those with a strong enough heart will be able to see through to the inside. That is the ultimate satisfaction, knowing that you can put looks in the backseat and focus on what truly matters.
Remember, the girl you can truly love and trust, just like the guys in my previous post, is probably right under your nose.

Do The Bad Boys Always Win?

I was originally planning on saving this one for a lot longer, but I figured I might as well get the question out of the way. Why do the bad boys always seem to win? Just about every guy with half a heart is desperately searching for the answer to this question.
I’m sure everyone reading this is saying “No, they don’t always win!” Well, if you don’t think so, take a look around. The “bad boys,” as I will be referring to them, don’t ALWAYS win, but they do win a majority of the time. It is evident everywhere.
Have you heard the common story about best friends? You’ll recognize it when I tell it to you.
A girl and a guy are best friends. The guy has a good heart, as does the girl. Slowly, the guy begins falling for her, however, she soon begins dating a different guy. Being best friends, the girl tells him everything about her new relationship, and it soon becomes apparent that this other guy is nothing but trouble. He mistreats her and uses her. The guy longs to step in and do something, or even better, reveal his own feelings for her. However, he does not want to put her through any more trouble than she is already going through, so he remains silent. Eventually, the bad boy breaks up with the girl. The guy feels sorry for her, but harbors a bit of excitement. It looks like he might get a chance to finally tell her how he feels. However, she continues to pursue the bad boy, knowing full well what kind of person he is. And once again, the guy is forced to choke down his feelings. Eventually, the girl and the bad boy get back together again. This cycle continues for several years. Eventually, the girl finally realizes that the bad boy will truly never change. Her best friend continues to comfort her through all of this, and once again hopes for a chance to tell her. However, his enthusiasm is short lived. The girl tells him about another guy she recently met who has been incredibly kind to her. And from there, the cycle looks to begin once again.
Not exactly your happily ever after is it? Obviously, every story is different, but many of them follow a pattern similar to the one found here.
Just to be blunt, I have seen so much of this lately, it makes me want to hurl. Now, I’m not necessarily the one in the middle all the time, but I have seen so many similar stories, it would take me several hundred pages to compile them all.
Now, I’m sure the universal question has now become: “What exactly is a bad boy?” Well, there are countless answers to that single question, but I’m going to try and narrow down a few characteristics.

- He tends to have great looks or some type of outward trait that draws attention. This could be anything from general good looks to a different style of clothing.
- He has the ability to act charming, but his personality can change quickly.
- He is extreme in the audio sense. Either he talks way too much, or way too little.
- He drinks and/or does drugs.
- He is involved in other illegal activity.
- He is cocky or arrogant.
- Sex dominates his conversations, values, and life.
- He goes through relationships quickly.

Now, these are only a few of thousands of characteristics that can and often do define “bad boys.” Just because a guy has some of these traits doesn’t necessarily make him a bad boy, but these are some of the most common.
Most of these are pretty bad traits right? So why do they always end up with the edge over good guys?
Some of this can be explained by the “challenge factor” which I presented in my first post. These guys present a big challenge. The girls who are after them feel special that this guy, who gets into so many relationships chose them over other girls. It also give them what I refer to as the “change challenge.” What isn’t challenging about trying to help rework someone’s priorities in life right? I’m sure the dangerous feel of these types of guys is probably quite attractive to many girls as well.
And don’t forget the looks. The typical bad boy look is emphasized way too much in every aspect of popular culture today. There is one of them in just about every movie you see nowadays. Why wouldn’t any girl want a guy like that?
The real question is…. Is this realistic at all?
Well, most girls like to believe it is. Up until they decide to give him all their love…. And wind up having their hearts broken. Then, they become depressed, log onto Facebook, and like all of these pages that talk about how bad all guys are. Hey, if you don’t believe me, take a look at how many likes some of those pages get. If you fall into that category, you need to WAKE UP! Just because the guy you tried to love was a complete jerk, that doesn’t make all guys like that! In fact, you are probably overlooking that one guy who would be willing to give you his whole heart with no strings attached!
So how do you avoid the bad types and single out the good ones?
First, you need to take another look around you. And be sure to look at EVERY guy, regardless of looks, or whether or not you believe he might have potential. Pay particular interest to the good personality traits in each of them. Don’t just go by looks or outgoingness. A lot of times, the real gem is right under your nose.
Second, you need to be sure to eliminate the “friend zone.” I will elaborate more about the friend zone in a later post. For now, just eliminate friendship as a barrier. Don’t even take it into consideration when you are looking at guys. Many girls unconsciously push the best types of guys into their “friend zones,” labeling them as “too close to date.” I say, forget all that. Some of the best relationships blossom from friendship.
Finally, re-evaluate your priorities and expectations when it comes to guys. If you are continuously being led to the same bad type of guy, then reworking your priorities might help. I know every girl has a list of things she does/doesn’t want to see in a guy. Try throwing out a few of the less important expectations in the “looks” category, such as height, muscle mass, weight, etc. In fact, you don’t even have to throw them out, just loosen up a little bit. You’d be surprised at what you might find.