Yes, it has been several days since New Years. Has everyone kept their resolutions so far?
Anyways, I made a few resolutions myself. I'm not going to share all of them, but there was one in particular that I was tested on right away.
Before I get into any of that, it is important for me to clear my beliefs when it comes to New Years resolutions. I definitely believe in making resolutions, though they shouldn't be forced. I don't write my resolutions out, and I don't plan them months ahead of time. I just think about things I could do better on over the next year. So, needless to say, I'm not exactly the most serious person when it comes to resolutions. But I'm not the type of person that thinks I have nothing that can be improved either.
With that said, one of my resolutions really stood out above the rest. I told myself that I needed to be much more straightforward with people.
That does seem a bit general, but anyone who talks with me on a consistent basis probably knows more specifically what I'm referring to. When a conversation turns toward secrets, or perhaps, something that has a risk of being offensive to one or both people involved, I have a tendency to become quite cryptic. This means that I begin to give very vague and coded answers to questions that people often want a direct answer to. Now, I'm not going to eliminate doing this entirely. I actually enjoy my ability to make people think for themselves. However, last year gave me a few opportunities to see places where it might have been better to give a more direct answer, and then back it up the way I do here on the blog.
Little did I expect this particular resolution to be tested so early.
In reality, the situation set itself up several days before I even made the resolution. I had sent a bulk text message to everyone on my contacts list (which actually created several awkward situations) wishing them a merry Christmas. A girl whom I have not talked to for some time responded. She is one of the girls whom I have mentioned in several previous posts, all from a while ago. She appeared in my blog previously as one of the girls who was helping me to lose faith in relationships and love in general. I had previously coached her in finding a true relationship, as she had found herself abandoned by her boyfriend, who had lost interest in her. From what I could gather about him, he was a jerk, and I simply gave her instructions on how to look deeper. But as mentioned before, all the advice I gave her seemed to fly right over her head, and she ended up falling for another guy based on nothing but a Facebook photo.
If you've read some of my previous posts, you probably know now which girl I'm referring to. Ironic as it may sound, those events were actually the inspiration for this resolution. I failed to give her my true opinion about how love based on a photo is just a quick path to heartbreak. Instead, I made my answers cryptic and it turns out, she never figured them out. By the time I told her about her mistake straight-up, she had already gone and made the mistake of pursuing this "love by photo."
After that, I had the idea for this resolution. It seems only fitting that she should be the one to put it to the test.
Anyways, I haven't talked to her in a long time. She went away to school and, as far as I can tell, went and got her old boyfriend back (the one who "got bored with her"), and is now living life exactly the way she told me she didn't want to. In light of all that, I really didn't want to talk to her anyways, as she seems to want to make all the wrong decisions, despite what I've tried to tell her.
This sudden text message changed all that. Suddenly, she was talking to me again. And like before, she was asking for advice on all of her problems. Just a day after New Years, I asked her if she was doing any better.
The tale that followed that question is one that I should probably keep to myself, as I'm not one to spill other people's secrets on the Internet. However, it involved her hanging out with some of her boyfriends pals, and them doing some not-so-acceptable things to her.
She continued on about how her boyfriend wasn't doing much about it, and how he didn't seem to care about it as much as she thought he should. Anyone else see what's coming?
Remembering my resolution, I told her exactly how I saw things. And I'll sum things up, because I did go on a bit of a rant. But what I said basically amounted to:
"With a guy like that, you're gonna get that kind of stuff. He's a bad person. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY you love him? Sure, love does not always need a reason but... you're missing a whole half of the equation. That is, the part where he loves you back. There are people out there that would be willing to love you with every ounce of their being. And you're missing that. Sure, they are few and far between, but they're worth searching for. And trust me, you'll never find that kind of deeper love with him."
I never received a response.
Either way, I was proud of my ability, instead of getting all cryptic like I usually do, to stand up and tell it like it is. Despite the fact that she never answered me, and we haven't spoken since, I know I made her really think. And that is what mattered in the end.
So for those of you who know me, be cautious about what questions you ask me, unless you want the straight-up truth.
