After the negative focus of several previous entries I have written, it is interesting for me to see the longevity of hope become quite plain. I have seen it emerge again in me recently.
That's right. I have found a new light. I'm sure many are scratching their heads and wondering exactly what I mean by that, but if you think about it for a second, it really isn't that hard to understand. It means, I think I might have found someone who might be able to bring back my hope.
It is, for the moment, just a small crush; a feeling not unfamiliar to me. However, it is a feeling I have been devoid of for far too long; a feeling I realize I have missed like an old friend. I find myself wanting to go out of my way just to see and talk to her. I am constantly looking for ways to secretly give her a gift, even if she doesn't know it was me.
She might just be the one who can restore my hope. Obviously, it is far from certain. I have just begun to get to know her, so I can't say any of this with a degree of certainty. In any case, I can tell the possibility is there, and I can't wait to find out more about her, and more importantly, what kind of heart she has.
As I mentioned in my last entry, she is with a group of people who I figured would be the last to notice. Instead they have been one of the first. She does indeed notice me, and seems to do so for decent reasons. I know that one of the first things she noticed about me was my smile. It is what she first noticed, and continues to notice. To me, my smile is representative of my generally kind nature. Hopefully, she has a similar meaning in mind.
As always, I am uncertain about how to proceed. Several of my friends have recommended that I "just go for it." Whatever that means... Despite what everyone says, I think I'm going to stick to the path that best suits me. I'm going to get to know her better before I get in over my head. It reflects one of my biggest quarrels with modern relationships. Everything is way too rushed. Taking time to discover your options and get to know somebody is never a bad thing; at least, in my opinion. In that light, I think I'm going to do what I always do and bide my time. If it is right... it will be. That is all that matters.
